for guys who’d rather talk tech than emotion,
but miss their girlfriend’s effervescent happiness.
This post outlines why I have such a passion for supporting men in tech. It’s not anger or “wanting to fix them.” It’s compassion at how much MORE LIMITING the stereotypical male emotional palette can be on guys who aren’t jocks (for whom idealized masculinity isn’t working out, either.) It’s my story of female emotional privilege, really. And how and why I apply mine where I do. This post is
As a support-person to smart, sensitive men, many of whom “just want someone to love,” I’ve had multiple clients who want my help sussing out whether they can stay someone’s secret admirer indefinitely. They feared that revelation might be the end of them –or at least of their self-respect. “Better to stay a secret admirer, than be mistaken for a stalker,” the majority said. In my opinion, that’s impossible. A
Others’ happiness “shouldn’t” deprive you of yours… but darned if it doesn’t remind you of what’s missing! At times it’s impossible not to be envious, jealous, or sad at a reminder of what you’ve lost. “What happened?” you reason… Maybe you were doing okay before, suddenly, tears sprang up at the sight of some ad or another. Or you saw a real-life couple and tried to “be happy for them.”
