My last few posts have been about stressful conversations with a significant other, where ‘suck it up and stay put,’ can seem like the only option. How to escape them? Can you avoid them? Is it ever the right time to address the pattern? Today, I go into more detail on timing, because the previous post didn’t quite hit the mark in that regard. So requisite reading for this post
In a previous post, I shared “Deer-in-the-Headlights – A Poem About Overwhelm” and promised you, among other things, a way to escape futile conversations with a “Get out of Jail, Free” card. True to my word, at the bottom of today’s post, you’ll find an instantaneously downloadable “Get out of Jail, Free” card you can quote or print out to help you politely evade immobilizing exchanges. I think your past,
Sure, we all lose our cool at times, but don’t you just hate looking back on a situation and wondering: “WHAT HAPPENED?! I wasn’t gonna DO that anymore! I did that #$%* THING AGAIN!! I’m hopeless!” Maybe you said the thing that you know sets your partner off. Part of you flew off the handle in a rage. Part of you froze into place petrifiedly watching it all unfold like
The poem “Deer-in-the-Headlights” was an imagined internal experience of the scenario I describe below. Today, I want to look at the externals: what a video camera would record. Just so we can pretend we’re on the same page. Let’s say you’re in the kitchen, talking with your partner while the hood vent is on, so there’s some white noise. You aren’t leading or directing the conversation. You mostly listen and
I just did a relationship faux pas, but… I don’t know what I said or did.
It doesn’t look like it’s okay to ask, so I… can’t really think straight right now, let alone recall what just happened and make sense of it.
This is a bit jarring, actually, because I actually thought everything was okay, so I’m alarmed to find we’re not okay… or I’m not okay…
and apparently, I’m on my own here. Alone in my alarm…
This post outlines why I have such a passion for supporting men in tech. It’s not anger or “wanting to fix them.” It’s compassion at how much MORE LIMITING the stereotypical male emotional palette can be on guys who aren’t jocks (for whom idealized masculinity isn’t working out, either.) It’s my story of female emotional privilege, really. And how and why I apply mine where I do. This post is
As a support-person to smart, sensitive men, many of whom “just want someone to love,” I’ve had multiple clients who want my help sussing out whether they can stay someone’s secret admirer indefinitely. They feared that revelation might be the end of them –or at least of their self-respect. “Better to stay a secret admirer, than be mistaken for a stalker,” the majority said. In my opinion, that’s impossible. A
Others’ happiness “shouldn’t” deprive you of yours… but darned if it doesn’t remind you of what’s missing! At times it’s impossible not to be envious, jealous, or sad at a reminder of what you’ve lost. “What happened?” you reason… Maybe you were doing okay before, suddenly, tears sprang up at the sight of some ad or another. Or you saw a real-life couple and tried to “be happy for them.”
A brilliant man sets out to hunt Cupid with the dark intent to never lose his mind (and end up alone) again.