The poem “Deer-in-the-Headlights” was an imagined internal experience of the scenario I describe below. Today, I want to look at the externals: what a video camera would record. Just so we can pretend we’re on the same page. Let’s say you’re in the kitchen, talking with your partner while the hood vent is on, so there’s some white noise. You aren’t leading or directing the conversation. You mostly listen and
I just did a relationship faux pas, but… I don’t know what I said or did.
It doesn’t look like it’s okay to ask, so I… can’t really think straight right now, let alone recall what just happened and make sense of it.
This is a bit jarring, actually, because I actually thought everything was okay, so I’m alarmed to find we’re not okay… or I’m not okay…
and
This post outlines why I have such a passion for supporting men in tech. It’s not anger or “wanting to fix them.” It’s compassion at how much MORE LIMITING the stereotypical male emotional palette can be on guys who aren’t jocks (for whom idealized masculinity isn’t working out, either.) It’s my story of female emotional privilege, really. And how and why I apply mine where I do. This post is