Briana Jacoba, Author At Rational Hearts

Unable to Get On the Dance Floor [incl. audio option]

2026-09-112026-05-11 by Briana Jacoba

4 silhouetted figures dancing in a club, not engaging with or looking at the viewer at all. Superimposed on this backdrop is a semi-transparent square with the text: "(When you're unable to get on the dance floor) the fake-it-'til-you-make-it approach... doesn't work." Briana Jacoba, Rational Hearts.com

About every other week, he paid the door fee intending to dance for hours, but quickly felt foolish and left, disappointed and miffed.

At first, Mike assumed it was because he was new…

Will Couples Counseling Fail if I Don’t Talk About Feelings? [Top 5 FAQ] [infographic]

2026-10-072025-10-31 by Briana Jacoba

How to get out of going to couples counseling if I’m too uncomfortable to talk about feelings? . INFOGRAPHIC / CHOICE DIAGRAM Shows several ways to respond to a gf's conversational questioning (pink). . Options (in blue) include responding on auto-pilot (sure, okay, fine, yes / maybe, I guess, not now, No) or play along honestly (I don't know, I don't know what you want me to say, I just want YOU to be happy) ... Alas, those can result in a response from your gf that is much like a coin-toss (coin depicted) in that she's happy or angry, but you're back at square 1 after she responds. . The alternate route is to "change the game" and respond with something like "I often don't know what to say, I dread I'll say the wrong thing, I'm focusing on what YOU might need/want." When this is followed by "I honestly don't know what I feel/need/want -- let alone how to get it," the gf face looks less like a coin-toss and more like an actually open, attentive, curious face, looking right at you. . A big, red, breast-like heart beneath the curious gf face at the end of this branch of the choice diagram holds a desirable result: "Curiosity you never knew you needed."

If you’re uncomfortable talking about feelings, being forced to can be very damaging. Escape ultimatums: 7 things couples counseling should screen against.

It’s Never the Right Time

2026-09-122024-05-18 by Briana Jacoba

My last few posts have been about stressful conversations with a significant other, where ‘suck it up and stay put,’ can seem like the only option

How to escape them?

Can you avoid them?

Is it ever the right time to address the pattern?