I’m a skeptic who caters to skeptics.
Curious but hesitant?
How ’bout just doing the simplest thing ever: email.
You’ll immediately get my take on why smarts can be so isolating.
Hit ‘Reply’ to ask me anything!
My opinion:
Therapy isn't nearly as fast as most people want and need it to be
Many men are the breadwinner, solopreneurs, or just plain solo, and fear how disruptive and time-consuming it might be to rake up traumatic memories with a therapist, and then try to get back to work–not fast enough, and not nearly painless enough.
Sure, there are certain therapy modalities (e.g. EMDR & SST) that have been proven to help in a record low number of sessions, relative to other forms of psychotherapy. (And some unproven stuff that claims to help in 1-5 sessions.)
While I’ve benefitted from therapy myself, certain kinds of therapy can be inefficient, ineffective, unpredictable, or frustratingly unsystematic. I’ve found the effectiveness of therapy sessions is impacted by random factors like mood, recent sleep, and health (mine or the therapist’s).
Then there’s “the luck of the draw” re: your therapist.
Beware of the ones who think they can help ‘anyone’ with ‘anything’ but have to call 9-1-1 when shit gets real.
Coaching isn't faster --than therapy or anything else-- if it doesn't work for you
Coaching might be the opposite of therapy in that it focuses on the future, not the past, but it simply can’t address anything half as deeply as I do, because…
Coaching puts a lot on you to do something about your circumstances and affect the world around you. That’s a very tall order when you’re down in the dumps, burned out, or critical of everything / everyone / yourself.
Even “Trauma-Informed Coaching” and SFBT can send the stigmatizing message “snap out of it and do something” through the subtle shaming effect of the common coaching question: “would you like to change that limiting belief?” Yuck!
In my opinion, coaching is, therefore, unnecessarily stressful for the client.
Even if one COULD “fake-it-til-you-make-it” and say “yes,” it wouldn’t be in integrity. Training a new alter-ego to slip into on dates (ick!) only makes one more paranoid, lonely, and disaster-prone.
And the coach is charging for this time-consuming trial-and-error process, just like therapists do for session-by-session therapy that meanders all over the place. (links to a 13,000-word post on why couples counseling doesn’t work for a statistically significant swath of men. It’s about a 70-minute read.)
drugs + self-help only *seem* faster than therapy
“Self-help” can be self-harm by another name, because Quality Control on internal bias towards your opinon of yourself… is tricky.
I’m all about empowerment, self-determination, and harm reduction (not stigmatization, hospitalization, or abstinance). And I have to admit… both hopelessness and foolhardy hope are eerily habit-forming.
Philosophically speaking: when one’s current perspective discovers a “truer” attitude that’s trying to emerge, it feels scary-good …for a moment.
But since every Big Aha that could actually help you, personally, breaks down into labor, it takes longer than the flash of bliss lasts, to follow through on your epiphany.
That can be frustrating, lonely, and make one chase the next epiphany-high. Meanwhile thinking: “I’m brilliant, but why doesn’t my life improve?”
Self-care Coaching can only do so much
“Self-care” doesn’t last… or do the trick… if you have issues with self-respect, self-trust, or self-control to begin with.
Even if you do all the things, it just covers band-aids with more band-aids that get torn off in an itchy rage when enough stress reminds one of the perma-pain underneath.
I Offer a Systematic, Efficient, Effective Alternative 30x Faster than Therapy or Coaching!
Although it sounds as impossible as doing your own open-heart surgery, there is an approach that actually does let you do very intricate work very consciously:
- zero risk of brainwashing,
- zero drugs,
- zero status-differential.
Once your stress completely transforms for a moment, I guarantee it will level out to a weekly/monthly level half of what it’s been this past year… or your money back.
If you find that anywhere else, please! Let me know!
It's not therapy
I don’t diagnose or treat.
No need to tell me about the past.
I don’t think in terms of wellness vs. illness.
I just help my clients expand their emotional, intellectual, and social “range of movement” — without labeling your behaviors “maladaptive” or your thoughts “negative.”
And I can actually guarantee measurable results.
It's not coaching, coaxing, or coping
No threat of shame.
No “pain = gain” mind-games.
No extrinsic goals or To Do lists.
“Coping skills” without actual relief cause burnout.
Authenticity isn’t a fake-it-’til-you-make-it, coachable goal.
Unstilted, heartfelt communication can’t be learned through training.
Before these innate skills can unfurl, you might actually need to recalibrate yourself to yourself — to who you really are — so you can finally “just be yourself” …like people are always talking about.
not as sudden as psychedelics
…and more within your control than any drug: after the huge initial relief, the way you experience yourself every day changes on a profound yet subtle level.
Your repertoire of interpretations, responses, and perceived options expands in seemingly unrelated ways…
This effect slowly and steadily gains momentum, and in retrospect, 9 weeks into your integration, the shift is obvious.
Clients have said:
“I feel like I have been freed from a heavy burden that I carried for years though I had only limited awareness of it. It’s not so much that I am a different person now, but rather I am the same person without all the issues.”
How fast is this therapy alternative?
We can just do weekly sessions for 2-3 months, with separate Quality Assurance Calls that don’t cut into session time.
Or, really, all the sessions needed for a long-lasting shift fit back-to-back in 3 days, followed by an integration period much like what’s recommended after deep psychedelic experiences.
The fact that this work is so deep it’ll leave you sipinning (in a good way) for nine weeks shouldn’t count against its expediency, right?
Lasting Relief in 3 Days, Not 6 Months
An astonishingly rational, systematic approach to “getting rid of bad moods” that’s faster than therapy or coaching — perfect for data-driven, critical thinkers who have not found counseling, coaching, self-help, or meditation to be effective: it’s more thorough and faster than therapy and coaching combined.
My approach is systematic (rather than manipulative) and therefore, it’s more technically satisfying, thorough, and long-lasting. It’s even measurable to a degree that I can offer guarantees.
Harm reduction and behavioral change are natural consequences of FIRST experiencing a deep change to your actual, first-hand experience of anguish, hopelessness, or pain itself. You don’t have to quit anything or label moods “bad” to shift out of the inclination to sabotage or self-harm.
30x faster than therapy? Really?
Here’s the math as to how it’s approximately 30x faster than therapy, and better than even trauma-informed coaching.
Rapid Results
(in 3 days, not 24 weekly sessions like a therapy trajectory!)
It only takes one day to use your technical skills to document the much more exact data that describes your particular flavor of anguish with more fidelity than people tend to do using vague, fluffy “feelings vocabulary.” And doing this can feel weirdly good and neutralize future upsets.
Second day, you literally “ease up” every dimension and transform formerly “bad feelings” beyond recognition, so you directly experience what you’ve been needing all along.
After that, it’s like a psychedelic awakening, without the psychedelics: 9 weeks of light-touch after-care smoothens out your integration in a nominal 10 minutes/day. Starting with a day of rest.
What I *don't* count when I say "it's faster than therapy":
Any therapist worth their salt will let you have 20 minutes alone with them to see if you ‘click’, so let’s not count the free intro conversation in the equation at all.
(Beware of the therapist who won’t meet you for 20 minutes for free, and just signs you up for a 2-hour, $250 “intake session” so they can ask you enough questions to draw your family tree before you get anything of any value or even see how they like to work!)
I offer 2 more free appointments than that. They’re for making sure you understand the money-back guarantee — something I’ve not yet seen any therapist offer, because their approaches are more iterative, meandering, and haphazard than mine.
The free appointments are not sessions, so I hope it makes sense to you that we don’t count those in this equation.
Here's the math for "30 times faster than therapy"
Under half a week of non-therapy with me
vs.
5-15 weekly RRT/EMDR therapy sessions
=
5-15 weeks divided by less than 0.5 weeks
=
results more than 10x (often 30x) sooner with me, and no trauma-retelling.
Even if a therapist knew my super-fast, story-free modality, insurance policies would make them do it in 55-minute chunks on a weekly cadence, and you’d want to say hello and goodbye each time, so it would take several months to get where I get you in 3 days.
Under half a week of non-therapy with me
vs.
25 weeks of therapy sessions
=
25 weeks divided by less than 0.5 weeks
=
results more than 50x faster than therapy.
Results more than 50x faster than therapy, just due to therapy’s insurance-dictated, standardized pace and format.
Taken altogether, that’s an average of
10x faster than therapy (RRT),
30x faster than therapy (EMDR), and
50x faster than therapy (d/t standardized format) +
(10+30+50)/3
= 90/3
= 30x faster than therapy.
…but if you’d prefer to take it one session at a time,
we can do it in 3 weeks of several short sessions a week,
or
spread them out as few and far between as you like (or need for your budget).
It’s faster than therapy: it’s not therapy!
In Summary: I offer something better than coaching, faster than therapy.
30 times faster than therapy, actually.
Because it’s so potent (and because you should be doing this anyways,) my approach includes a few weeks of app-supported after-care:
being kind to yourself for 5 minutes/day, 5 days a week, for 9 weeks.
But that’s really just to ease your re-emergence in a life you set up before you recalibrated yourself to your true self.
My approach is better, deeper, and faster than therapy, coaching, and any alternative that isn’t a faith healing. (I don’t do faith healing.)
I’m so confident you’ll think of it as THE turning point in your life, that I offer a money-back guarantee you’ll get significant, measurable results that last.
Lasting relief.
Right away.