You don’t want therapy.
You want what you signed up for
when your girlfriend moved in:
when your girlfriend moved in:
more pleasure
(and less nagging.)
(and less nagging.)
She wants couples counseling…
but you’re not excited to pay some Ph.D. to get you to
- apologize for every little thing,
- reassure your girlfriend you love her, and
- discuss emotions that feel unreal to you
AS IF YOU HADN’T TRIED THAT YET.
No thanks!
TALKING ABOUT TALKING feels circuitous. Like a trap.
But she keeps on saying “we need to talk.”
This won’t last.
If you don’t do something,
she’ll call you “aloof,” or worse:
“a loner”
…and that’s a self-fulfilling prophecy…
If you’re caught in the blame-game,
couples therapy can just feel like you’re raising the stakes
or having to perform in front of a live audience.
It can be hard to participate in good faith.
Or maybe you’ve found a great couples therapist
whom you trust completely,
and they’ve recommended you each get your own one-on-one support-person.
Seriously ask them:
does it have to be a therapist?
You’d rather describe objects’ relative speed
or positions in space and time
than talk about emotions, right?
So you’ve probably wished for a non-therapy
designed by and for someone
as logical as you,
leveraging technical skills you already have!
If you’ve assumed that doesn’t exist…
this is your lucky day.
![](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/IMG_1626-2021_04_15-02_32_13-UTC-smaller-03.jpg)
Hi, I’m Bree.
I know expectations on boys growingup are unjust. You knew that and still had no choice but to ignore parts of yourself to get along in society.
Finally you’re a man, and women want the exact opposite! Call you sexist if you stay logical when they’re upset… but when you do succeed at caring for others’ feelings, it’s at the expense of even recognizing you have feelings, yourself!
Even if all you learned was to override the instinct to cry, that basically puts certain parts of your brain behind a firewall. Parts that house your innate ability to
- make sense of emotional stimuli and responses in real time,
- accurately predict and understand human emotion, or
- communicate sincerely, kindly, and effectively.
The good news:
You can relax and enjoy a quick, logical process to bring those parts of the brain ‘back online.’
My approach helps hidden emotions lose their charge and actually become helpful instead of a nuisance.
Get in touch to see if it’s right for you.
It’s highly effective.
My own, my colleagues’, and my clients’ sudden return to fuller aliveness is both reproducible and optional.
Once these parts of the brain come back online, you become at choice as to when they’re ‘on/off,’ so
- you can keep feeling more yourself, more capable, and more free than ever,
and - you can opt for the old way of being in any given situation, for however long you deem best.
Being around people could suddenly become
far more interesting and rewarding…
Life could be a lot less baffling, tedious, and scary…
All your goals coud be easier to reach…
You can stop stressing about how exactly to
“just be yourself.”
This is not
‘behavioral change.’
I’m no therapist.
Not a social worker, either.
Nor am I a trainer:
No rehearsing in front of the mirror.
No ‘tips and tricks.’
![boy who's clearly comfortable cuddling his huge dog in the sunshine](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/nathan-hanna-7hxC83Qcuwo-unsplash-768x1152.jpg)
This is about using your strengths:
We start with a chronological description of your first-hand experience of what happens:
“My girlfriend’s mood suddenly changes. It’s baffling.”
“When I get a woman’s number, I can’t bring myself to call it.”
“As soon as I get home, she’s talking — I’ve barely arrived!”
Then I ask for whetever specific, technical details you can remember
from your physiologocal experience.
I ask in manipulation-free, predictable ways.
You can focus because it’s the same multiple-choice options every time.
(You know it’s working because, at first,
the bad feeling actually starts to happen to you again, just a little bit.)
Except this time…
For the first time,
you're not helpless.
A mystery you couldn’t solve on your own, unravels:
the sensory feeling/mood-bomb proves to have been permanent,
dormant, hidden, always there, lying in wait…
Always looking for its chance to detonate…
But THIS TIME, you have the exact kind of
neutral, scientific exploratory attitude
and bomb-dismantling support needed,
(instead of the usual, 100% understandable frustration.)
Now it can stop endangering your future!
All you have to do
is answer the same questions about your physiological experience
in a different order…
this time answering what you’d RATHER experience,
carefully toggling ONLY ONE data-point — one dimension at a time.
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.
LITERALLY.
If you take the whole next day after our daylong sessions,
and you really relax and take care of yourself for a day
and just do nothing much,
and spend 5 painless minutes pouring over our notes each day after that for 9 weeks,
you’ll notice everywhere:
You’ve stopped fighting yourself.
With this inner cease-fire,
you taste what it’s like
to be your best, deepest self.
Best of all,
— and this is REALLY paradoxical —
the real-life situations that used to “set you off”
can actually
grant you access to a calm, collected mindset.
You recognize who you’ve always been.
Relationships are
less like minefields when there’s
no more sudden explosions.
Want help dismantling a mood bomb?
$
780
Satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back.
-
Within just 48 hours: -
Map your pain.
-
Melt it away.
-
Choose your own metrics. Start noticing change.
-
To help you dismantle a mood-bomb, you receive: -
Immediate access to a system for direct-messaging me.
-
Homework to prepare you for rapid traction (with me or anyone.)
-
A care package via snail mail.
-
A thumbdrive to record our Zoom meetings on.
-
Two days of my undivided attention.
-
Behind-the-scenes support leveraging your Big Discoveries.
-
Measurable improvement in your quality of life.
-
Nine weeks of after-care calls on a bespoke cadence.
-
My 100% satisfaction guarantee on a specific result we define together before we even begin.
More info
No faith/hope required.
No faith/hope required.
Will be
$990 in 2025
$990 in 2025
I’m such an introvert that people usually exhaust me. But it’s different with you.
With most people, I’m ready for a nap after about 10 minutes of conversation.
But an hour with you goes by so fast I don’t even notice time passing.
You’re funny, smart and wise, and so easy to talk to that I’m energized and not exhausted,
even when we talk about my least favourite topic: me!
With most people, I’m ready for a nap after about 10 minutes of conversation.
But an hour with you goes by so fast I don’t even notice time passing.
You’re funny, smart and wise, and so easy to talk to that I’m energized and not exhausted,
even when we talk about my least favourite topic: me!
![T. Nemeth](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/T-NEMETH-and-cat-225x300.jpeg)
I’m a big-bandwidth person, and so
I’m often afraid of overwhelming people.
What I appreciate about you, Bree, is that you are “big enough.”
I feel like I can be met by you.
You can meet me.
I can be as big, or as much, of “me” as I NEED to be, and you can meet me.
I don’t have to be nervous about “OMG, I have to say only 10% of who I am” for fear of overwhelming you.
I’m often afraid of overwhelming people.
What I appreciate about you, Bree, is that you are “big enough.”
I feel like I can be met by you.
You can meet me.
I can be as big, or as much, of “me” as I NEED to be, and you can meet me.
I don’t have to be nervous about “OMG, I have to say only 10% of who I am” for fear of overwhelming you.
![K.W.](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/globe-Americas-dark-sky-300x294.png)
I love talking with Bree.
We’re very different people
– I’m introverted, shy, and sometimes shut down, and she can be very outgoing and outspoken –
and
she consistently meets our differences by communicating transparently about her own experience, inviting me to give her feedback and adapting to it, and actively and compassionately seeking to understand my experience.
Our meetings have provided me a rare opportunity to experimentally speak my full truth, which has been valuable practice that I have seen enrich my other relationships. It’s been a pleasure to learn and grow with her.
– I’m introverted, shy, and sometimes shut down, and she can be very outgoing and outspoken –
and
she consistently meets our differences by communicating transparently about her own experience, inviting me to give her feedback and adapting to it, and actively and compassionately seeking to understand my experience.
Our meetings have provided me a rare opportunity to experimentally speak my full truth, which has been valuable practice that I have seen enrich my other relationships. It’s been a pleasure to learn and grow with her.
![Adrian E.](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/bunny.jpg)
Bree, I offer tremendous thanks.
This book would not have happened without you.
I've had many past lives, but you...
You're from the future.
This book would not have happened without you.
I've had many past lives, but you...
You're from the future.
Your approach impressed not only me, but all the employers I sought to work for.
I now work with the firm of my choice, and I know it is the right fit. Pragmatically speaking I’m making a healthy salary. Plus I’m ecstatic to work with a team of people who share many of my visions and work diligently to make them real.
We did this together, Bree.
Thanks for standing by me all the while and encouraging me through every step.
I now work with the firm of my choice, and I know it is the right fit. Pragmatically speaking I’m making a healthy salary. Plus I’m ecstatic to work with a team of people who share many of my visions and work diligently to make them real.
We did this together, Bree.
Thanks for standing by me all the while and encouraging me through every step.
![Brad K.](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/snowboarder.png)
For a decade, I did not have close personal relations. It was like:
‘I don’t care! This is hopeless! Forget it!’
Well, it was a Hail Mary pass, but
this has been the HUGEST turn-around!
‘I don’t care! This is hopeless! Forget it!’
Well, it was a Hail Mary pass, but
this has been the HUGEST turn-around!
![Roger Byrd](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Roger-Byrd-North-Carolina-1-300x288.png)
retired Clinical
Massage Therapist
I had lots of problems that stem from rampant anxiety... If someone were, like me, never able to have big groups of friends, tried Adderall, alcohol, and all kinds of therapy, but wasn't able to talk much or give the therapist much to work with, I'd recommend working with you.
My big AHA moment was that it's the war with yourself that's damaging. You taught me about neuroplasticity and what we did that one weekend now allows me to pay a lot more attention to upset, fear, and other fight/flight reactions.
I'm still not *comfortable* with the reaction, but I can just observe it now and think through what I want to do with this new information. I don't have to be afraid.
I can be more comfortable with being me.
By knowing myself, I've been able to be more comfortable with myself, and not bring myself down. I'm not a broken person. That helps!
My big AHA moment was that it's the war with yourself that's damaging. You taught me about neuroplasticity and what we did that one weekend now allows me to pay a lot more attention to upset, fear, and other fight/flight reactions.
I'm still not *comfortable* with the reaction, but I can just observe it now and think through what I want to do with this new information. I don't have to be afraid.
I can be more comfortable with being me.
By knowing myself, I've been able to be more comfortable with myself, and not bring myself down. I'm not a broken person. That helps!
![Brian](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Screenshot-2024-02-17-124723-e1708202950678-279x300.png)
Previous
Next
Hesitation is Healthy
If you’re on the fence
for any of the following reasons,
JUST DON’T DO IT.
That’s right.
I’m warning you now:
if any of the following are an issue,
it isn’t gonna work out.
- My approach sadly doesn’t work for people who’ve been prescribed anti-psychotic medication, or whose brains actively hallucinate.
- If your relationship is unlikely to last 30 days, this is not the time.
- If you start (or have started) dating someone within 30 days of the daylong sessions, that’ll nix your progress.
- If you need to share secrets you can’t afford to share over Zoom, Chrome, or automated text reminders, this won’t work:
those are my routine means of communication. (Have I made it clear I don’t need to know about your past?) - If you’re not comupter-savvy enough to, for example, navigate an in-browser app, this is not gonna work.
- If you’re not willing to add one 5-minute routine anywhere in your day for the 9 weeks after our daylong sessions, even with the support of 7 optional check-ins/week…
or if you’re not willing to say stuff like “it’s nowhere — well, actually, it’s like a black hole, but in an alternate universe” if that’s what first sprang to mind…
6 and 7 are (strange) new skills that can be learned,
…but you do have to be willing.
I don’t manipulate. I’m not going to convince you.
This is your warning.
On Crushes
A crush can be a helpful fantasy — a phase in finding love for yourself.
Just don’t mistake the real me for being open to come-ons, gifts, or activities beyond our written agreement: I’m not.
If you want to address that tendency first, I know some amazing people with great success in that realm. I’d be happy to not just refer you (temporarily or otherwise) but actually help you get started with them.
That’s my no-wrong-door policy.
I don't talk to the women in your life.
I only care about your experience.
$
I AM NOT A THERAPIST.
Nowadays, psychologists, psychiatrists
and social workers
often have waitlists.
If you're willing and able to get support elsewhere,
it's arguably a moral issue whether one should take up a slot with these particular professionals,
rather than leaving it available to someone else.
Especially if you're ready to pay out-of-pocket rather than submit to most insurances' prerequisite of a diagnosis,
or to avoid submitting yourself to 50-minute sessions during typical office hours.
(But by all means, get therapy
if you have trauma to heal!)
$
For self-diagnosed 'high-functioning,'
highly technical guys, I have seen
results equivalent to
5 MONTHS
of weekly sessions of any kind
IN JUST 2 DAYS
of
$
Dismantle a
mood bomb
mood bomb
-
-
I guarantee specific results
Less-niched facilitators can't guarantee any satisfaction at all.
-
4.5 months faster
No weekly performance anxiety.
No keeping your hopes up/down.
Just instantaneously tangible relief.
-
You save over $1250.
Most sessions of any kind at all cost
$95 per session per week = over
$2K for 5 months, but I only charge
3 installments of $260.
Zero-Pressure Sales Call
It’s daunting to schedule things
when you live mood-to-mood.
I GET IT.
You DON’T have to be
- ‘ready,’
- hopeful, or
- in a good mood.
In fact, I expect you to be quite frustrated and exhausted from using all the ‘pep’ you can muster just to function.
No Fixing/Changing/Advising
I’m actually curious, in a welcoming way, what it’s like to be you when a mood-bomb goes off.
(Yours, or someone else’s.)
Zero Sales Pressure? –Really?
Really.
I listen.
I check that I’m following you exactly.
We get clear together.
About 20 minutes in, I invite 1 minute of stillness. You can use that to notice whether you actually want to keep talking.
I don’t offer instant sales.
All of my clients sleep on the decision, first.
If you do tack on 8-9 more minutes (to total 30,) we can glance at a possible future:
- what realistic results could look like,
- what kind of time-line those are feasible on,
- what exact result I could actually guarantee you in writing on the very short term, verbatim.
You have your own wisdom.
It just takes sorting out.
Not everyone is game for a 2-day intensive. I’m not out to ‘sell’ you a cookie-cutter package. That would just backfire.
My best offer is exactly as described above, but as your budget and self-discipline allows, we can tailor to your schedule.
This conversation is very safe for your wallet, and for you. Information-gathering doesn’t obligate you to follow through on anything, of course!
For me, it’s about learning what a relaxed, comfortable decision-making process looks like for you, and honoring that. Right where you’re at.
This is your invitation to life...
You don’t have to stay stuck or scared
or ‘suck it up.’
Shoot me a private message through my self-explanatory,
GDPR- and HIPAA-compliant app
–no download necessary.
Don’t believe me?
That’s healthy skepticism!
How ’bout you check out my take on
why smarts can be so isolating?
Simple email signup:
![](https://rationalhearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/IMG_1697-2021_04_15-02_32_13-UTC-768x597.jpg)