You don’t want therapy.
You want what you signed up for
when your partner moved in:
when your partner moved in:
more pleasure,
less pressure!
less pressure!
But if she’s like: “we need to talk.”
And you’re like: “we just did!”
It can’t last.
Whether you’re still together, or broken up,
talking about talking
can feel circuitous
like a trap.
You're a Lover,
When trust, love, and connection feel unreliable, it can suddenly get scary.
The blame-game can make you want to throw in the towel.
Trying to “just be chill” can get you misinterpreted as
“distant,” “distracted,” or “uncaring.”
Oof!
- You do hear her.
- She does affect you.
- You are taking action,
When it feels like she won’t believe you
unless you take all the blame…
You need a place to catch your breath and regroup!
If she’s proposing counseling,
she may have no idea what that implies.
she may have no idea what that implies.
No clue.
She probably honestly thinks it’ll be a big help.
For both of you.
For both of you.
She doesn’t realize that, for you,
hiring help might feel like having to perform
“in front of a live audience”
— an audience whose Ph.D. you’re paying for.
“in front of a live audience”
— an audience whose Ph.D. you’re paying for.
You don’t want to pay anyone to coax you to
- apologize,
- tel her you love her repeatedly, or
- dissect thoughts/feelings caused by misinterpretation —
AS IF YOU HADN’T TRIED THAT YET.
NO, THANKS!
You don’t want to learn ‘relationship skills’ from
so-called ‘experts.’
so-called ‘experts.’
There’s nothing wrong with wishing you could simply learn through osmosis.
Especially if being naturally authentic is core to your life ethic.
Being told things can improve by paying for help
can feel like an innocent game that just got real without warning.
Sudden death.
can feel like an innocent game that just got real without warning.
Sudden death.
Hiring (potentially unhelpful) ‘help’ feels awfully
- risky,
- expensive, and
- anxiety-provoking
(which jinxes it bigtime.)
…it might even feel like cheating at natural selection.
Again:
When the mere idea of an unhappy partner
threatens your relationship status — maybe even your identity —
it’s hard to imagine how hiring someone could make any difference…
The premise itself is too alarming, isolating, and stressful.
Even when a mom/sib/friend/ex
suggests you pay for solo help,
suggests you pay for solo help,
they probably grossly underestimate what that might demand of you.
How much the mere idea feels like a pass/fail test.
One way to cope:
find facts and figures and recap them in your own words
in this Un-Course.
find facts and figures and recap them in your own words
in this Un-Course.
completely FREE.
The Un-Course is independent research:
- You decide where/how you get your info.
- Open-ended prompts.
- Stimulating questions.
- No right/wrong answers.
- Articulate yourself without being on trial.
Let’s celebrate your independent thinking.
The world won’t change overnight from one little course,
but it is technically proof you are “doing something about it.”
You can honestly say you enrolled in a course on (the perils of) transformation.
If you have little hope for real, tangible, lasting,
empowering relief,
…I invite you to enrol in that un-course…
then read on.
Surely therapy isn't
the only kind of support out there...
Many couples therapists recommend
that both partners also each hire your own
one-on-one support-person.
If you’d rather not have to pay for all those experts,
session-by-session,
indefinitely…
If you don’t have the energy for anything without a guarantee…
If you’ve ever wished for a quick-and-painless,
lecture-free, fascinating,
brilliance-unleashing non-therapy
designed by and for the Sherlock Holmes’ of the real world…
but assumed that option doesn’t exist…
This is your lucky day.
Even if you’re so averse to talking about emotions
that you’d rather describe objects’
relative speed and position in space and time,
you’ll love my approach for tapping your own inner knowing,
because it helps you make more useful hypotheses and more accurate sense of your and others’ chemistry.
Hi, I’m Bree.
You make perfect sense. It just takes sorting out.
With my support, you have all the brilliant insights yourself.
And assistance in collecting measurable evidence.
Most people who hire me, do so because it’s comforting to be nurtured by someone who understands. You don’t need the stress and peril of being shamed for thoughts and feelings typical to many men, or unique to you and your lived experience.
What I offer my clients is far more lasting than the solace one might find in another person, no matter how loving.
Every one of them has been surprised at how unembarrassing and effective my work is. How different it is from coaching or therapy or ‘energy work’ or anything they’ve tried before.
As a former (published) cancer and immunology researcher, I am uniquely equipped to support fellow skeptics who want to remain skeptical, but need a quick way to get their mojo back.
- I’m a humanist. That’s as religious as I get. I got this license to protect your information from subpoena.
- My modality is predictable, logical, and technically satisfying for the client, so you have every reason to be confident our time will be reproducibly effective.
- I proactively solicit, appreciate, and actively incorporate feedback from clients. Meta-level conversations improve session time without cutting into it.
- I receive intervision. (Non-hierarchical supervision). It requires zero info about clients and keeps me looking inward (not to clients) for my learning edge.
- My work is quite different from IFS, but you might like to know that I took Level 1 IFS training in order to join a somewhat relevant community of practice without having to become a therapist myself.
I refrain from certain behaviors therapists may legally do, e.g. talk about the past, or influence clients in a vulnerable state of mind — because I don’t want or need to.
I don’t do
‘behavioral change.’
I’m no therapist or social worker.
No ‘changing core beliefs.’
No affirmations.
I’m not a trainer, either:
no rehearsing in front of the mirror.
No ‘tips and tricks.’
My approach is highly effective because
it requires zero faith.
It’s neither cognitive-behavioral, nor hypnotic.
Your system is wiser
than anyone who might manipulate it…
The changes that follow are truly optional:
- You can choose to be more yourself,
more capable, and
more free than ever,
and yet,
- you can also consciously opt for your habitual response,
if that’s what’s wisest in any given situation.
You’re truly adding options… without losing anything.
Being around people could suddenly become
far more interesting and rewarding…
- It’d make life a lot less baffling, tedious, and scary…
- That’d make all your goals easier to reach…
- What if you could stop stressing about how exactly to
“just be yourself?”
I help technically inclined guys use existing strengths to unleash new ones from within.
We start with a chronological description of your first-hand experience of what happens to you, that you don’t like.
For example:
“When I get a woman’s number, I can’t bring myself to call it.”
“When my girlfriend’s mood suddenly changes, I’m baffled.”
“As soon as I get home, she’s talking — I’ve barely arrived!” or
“Whenever I socialize, it takes me DAYS to recover.”
Then I ask for whatever specific, technical details you can remember
from your first-hand experience,
in manipulation-free, predictable ways,
so you can focus on sensing your way through the same questions every time.
(You know it’s working because, at first,
the bad feeling actually starts to happen to you again, just a little bit.)
Except this time…
For the first time,
you're not helpless.
A mystery you’ve been trying to solve on your own for decades, unravels:
the “mood-bomb” you’ve been trying to tip-toe around
proves to indeed have been dormant and hidden,
forever lying in wait…
Always looking for its chance to detonate…
But this time, you have the exact kind of
neutral, scientific, exploratory attitude
and bomb-dismantling support you’ve needed
(instead of the usual, 100% understandable frustration.)
Now it can stop endangering your peace of mind!
All you have to do
is answer the same questions about your first-hand experience
in a different order…
this time answering what you’d RATHER experience,
carefully toggling only one data-point — one dimension — at a time.
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.
LITERALLY.
If you take the whole next day after our daylong sessions,
and you truly relax and take care of yourself that day
transcribing the essence of your 9 Big Insights,
and
if you spend 5 painless minutes pouring over our notes every day for 9 weeks,
you’ll notice everywhere:
You’ve stopped fighting yourself.
With this inner cease-fire,
you taste what it’s like
to be your best, deepest self.
Best of all,
— and this is highly paradoxical —
the real-life situations that used to “set you off”
start to actually grant you access
to a calm, collected mindset.
You recognize who you’ve always been inside,
shining through.
Life is less like a minefield
when there’s no more mood-bombs
beneath the surface.
Want help dismantling a mood bomb?
$
990
Satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back.
-
Within just 48 hours: -
Map your pain.
-
Melt it away.
-
Choose your own metrics. Start noticing change.
-
For free: -
Immediate access to a system for direct-messaging me.
-
Prepwork to support you and your life's delicate balance.
-
Two free meetings to address your qualms and questions.
-
Your first monthly installment of $330 gets you: -
A care package via snail mail.
-
A thumb drive to record our Zoom meetings on.
-
Two and a half days of my undivided attention.
-
Nine weeks of after-care calls on a bespoke cadence.
-
An app for integrating your 9 Big Discoveries in just 5 minutes/day.
-
Measurable improvement in your quality of life.
-
My 100% satisfaction guarantee on a specific result we define together before we even begin.
More info
No faith/hope required.
No faith/hope required.
accepting
new clients
new clients
Thank you for offering such a valuable resource.
I'm very happy with how you assisted me with such positive change that has made a huge difference in my outlook and my ability to relax, be more content, and happy.
I'm very happy with how you assisted me with such positive change that has made a huge difference in my outlook and my ability to relax, be more content, and happy.
If someone were, like me, never able to have big groups of friends, tried Adderall, alcohol, and all kinds of therapy, but wasn't able to talk much or give the therapist much to work with, I'd recommend working with you.
My big "aha" moment was that it's the war with yourself that's damaging. You showed me my neuroplasticity. What we did in one weekend now allows me to pay a lot more attention to upset, fear, and other fight/flight reactions.
Since then, I've been able to be more comfortable with myself, and not bring myself down.
My big "aha" moment was that it's the war with yourself that's damaging. You showed me my neuroplasticity. What we did in one weekend now allows me to pay a lot more attention to upset, fear, and other fight/flight reactions.
Since then, I've been able to be more comfortable with myself, and not bring myself down.
For a decade, I did not have close personal relations. It was like:
‘I don’t care! This is hopeless! Forget it!’
Well, it was a Hail Mary pass, but
this has been the HUGEST turn-around!
‘I don’t care! This is hopeless! Forget it!’
Well, it was a Hail Mary pass, but
this has been the HUGEST turn-around!
retired Clinical
Massage Therapist
I’m such an introvert that people usually exhaust me. But it’s different with you.
With most people, I’m ready for a nap after about 10 minutes of conversation.
But an hour with you goes by so fast I don’t even notice time passing.
You’re funny, smart and wise, and so easy to talk to that I’m energized and not exhausted,
even when we talk about my least favourite topic: me!
With most people, I’m ready for a nap after about 10 minutes of conversation.
But an hour with you goes by so fast I don’t even notice time passing.
You’re funny, smart and wise, and so easy to talk to that I’m energized and not exhausted,
even when we talk about my least favourite topic: me!
I’m a big-bandwidth person, and so
I’m often afraid of overwhelming people.
What I appreciate about you, Bree, is that you are “big enough.”
I feel like I can be met by you.
You can meet me.
I can be as big, or as much, of “me” as I need to be, and you can meet me.
I don’t have to be nervous about “OMG, I have to say only 10% of who I am” for fear of overwhelming you.
I’m often afraid of overwhelming people.
What I appreciate about you, Bree, is that you are “big enough.”
I feel like I can be met by you.
You can meet me.
I can be as big, or as much, of “me” as I need to be, and you can meet me.
I don’t have to be nervous about “OMG, I have to say only 10% of who I am” for fear of overwhelming you.
I love talking with Bree.
We’re very different people
– I’m introverted, shy, and sometimes shut down, and she can be very outgoing and outspoken –
and
she consistently meets our differences by communicating transparently about her own experience, inviting me to give her feedback and adapting to it, and actively and compassionately seeking to understand my experience.
Our meetings have provided me a rare opportunity to experimentally speak my full truth, which has been valuable practice that I have seen enrich my other relationships. It’s been a pleasure to learn and grow with her.
– I’m introverted, shy, and sometimes shut down, and she can be very outgoing and outspoken –
and
she consistently meets our differences by communicating transparently about her own experience, inviting me to give her feedback and adapting to it, and actively and compassionately seeking to understand my experience.
Our meetings have provided me a rare opportunity to experimentally speak my full truth, which has been valuable practice that I have seen enrich my other relationships. It’s been a pleasure to learn and grow with her.
Bree, I offer tremendous thanks.
This book would not have happened without you.
I've had many past lives, but you...
You're from the future.
This book would not have happened without you.
I've had many past lives, but you...
You're from the future.
Your approach impressed not only me, but all the employers I sought to work for.
I now work with the firm of my choice, and I know it is the right fit. Pragmatically speaking I’m making a healthy salary. Plus I’m ecstatic to work with a team of people who share many of my visions and work diligently to make them real.
We did this together, Bree.
Thanks for standing by me all the while and encouraging me through every step.
I now work with the firm of my choice, and I know it is the right fit. Pragmatically speaking I’m making a healthy salary. Plus I’m ecstatic to work with a team of people who share many of my visions and work diligently to make them real.
We did this together, Bree.
Thanks for standing by me all the while and encouraging me through every step.
Previous
Next
Hesitation is Healthy
If you’re on the fence
for any of the following reasons,
JUST DON’T DO IT.
That’s right.
I’m warning you now:
if any of the following are an issue,
it isn’t gonna work out.
- My approach is not to be seen as a treatment or intervention of any kind.
- This work is unsuited for people who are under the influence of alcohol, or are actively hallucinating, during sessions.
- If your main relationship is unlikely to last 30 days, now is not the time.
- If you start (or have started) dating someone within 30 days of the daylong sessions, that’ll nix your progress.
- If you feel compelled to share information with me but are unwilling to do so over my routine means of communication (Zoom, Chrome, Gmail, or text) you’ll get all stressed out.
(I don’t need to know any secrets or your past, so if you must process aloud, you have the option to mute yourself and take your time. I get it.)
- If you’re not comupter-savvy enough to, for example, navigate an in-browser app, this is not gonna work.
(It’s ready for you to explore today, if you’re curious. Free of charge!)
I don’t manipulate:
I’m not going to convince you or change your comfort-level with these pre-requisites.
They’re pre-requisites.
This is your heads-up.
On Crushes
A crush can be a helpful fantasy — a phase in finding love for yourself.
Just don’t mistake the real me for being open to come-ons, gifts, or activities beyond our written agreement: I’m not.
If you’re prone to crushing, or think that maybe, once you meet me, something like that might happen, we can address that first: I know some amazing people with great success in that realm.
I’d be happy to not just refer you (temporarily or otherwise) but actually help you get started with them.
That’s my no-wrong-door policy.
I don't talk to the women in your life.
I only care about your experience.
$
I AM NOT A THERAPIST.
Nowadays, Psychologists, Psychiatrists
and Social Workers
often have waitlists.
It's arguably a moral issue whether one should take up a slot with these particular professionals,
rather than leaving it available to someone else.
This is especially true if you're ready to pay out-of-pocket rather than submit to most insurances' prerequisite of a diagnosis,
or because you dislike being limited to scheduling 50-minute sessions during typical office hours.
(But by all means, I recommend therapy
if you have trauma to heal!)
$
For self-diagnosed 'high-functioning,' highly technical guys, I have seen
results equivalent to
5 MONTHS of weekly sessions of any kind
IN JUST 2 DAYS of
$
Dismantle a
mood bomb
mood bomb
-
-
I guarantee you'll see results
when most facilitators can't guarantee anything at all...
-
4.5 months faster
No weekly performance anxiety.
No keeping your hopes up/down.
Just tangible, nearly-instantaneous relief.
-
at a fraction of the cost.
For comparable results, other facilitators require 5 months of weekly sessions that last less than an hour each for $125 a pop on the low end. That's $500-$625/month for 5 months!! Oof!
I ask for 3 easy installments of $330 for faster, lasting, guaranteed results.
Not everyone is game for a 2- or 3-day intensive.
I’m not out to ‘sell’ you on a cookie-cutter package. That’s just my best offer.
If your budget allows, those same results can be accomplished at a customized pace.
It’s hard to believe relief is possible without experiencing it yet.
The hardest part about that might just be the shame… the fear the future might NOT be any better… or wishing someome could just read your mind…
It makes it hard to schedule ANY activity. You might think you have to ‘psych yourself up’ just to make it on time.
What if that’s because you live with live mood-bombs?
Unpredictable ups and downs can really cramp your style and make scheduling appointments into a big ordeal.
I GET IT.
You hate making promises you can’t keep…
So don’t.
Don’t promise anything.
Say it with me now:
There’s NO NEED to try to be
- ‘ready,’
- hopeful, or
- in a good mood
to meet me.
No need whatsoever.
I swear.
In fact, many who book these are furious (and secretly exhausted) at having to routinely use all the ‘pep’ they can muster …just to function.
Come, come however you are.
My gift is in seeing your sheer brilliance, even if you yourself feel lost or ‘stupid’ — and witnessing loneliness without making you lonelier.
- Introduction Call (see possibilities)
- Slept-On-It Call (flesh out possibilities)
- Orientation Call (craft money-back guarantee)
Why bother meeting?
To get specific about what I can guarantee you, personally, I’d have to hear you out on what results you’re looking for, and get a sense of where you are at right now. Makes sense?
You don’t have to tell me your life story (please don’t) or disclose the worst part for us to notice if enough trust is present between us for a follow-up call once you sleep on it.
I don’t charge a dime for any of the steps preceding actual, tangible benefits.
Zero Sales Pressure? –Really?
Really.
I’m actually curious, in a welcoming way, what it’s like to be you when a mood-bomb goes off.
(Yours, or someone else’s.)
No instant sales. You get to sleep on it, first.
Talking to me is very safe for your wallet, and for you. Information-gathering doesn’t obligate you to follow through on anything!
I’m happy to refer you to free and/or relevant resources.
Don’t believe me?
That’s healthy skepticism!
How ’bout just doing the simplest thing ever: email!
You’ll immediately get my take on why smarts can be so isolating.
Cheerleaders, please honor his privacy: only enroll yourself! Then what? Click here.
