This is for people “trying to help” guys who don’t want ‘help.’ I think what confuses the frustrated ‘helper’ most, is some smart guys’ apparent disapproval or dismissiveness, lack of commitment, or sense of emotional independence. If hoping against hope for change in such behavior(s) is painful for you, and you can’t seem to get any traction, congratulations: you are properly empathizing with an isolated smart guy. Welcome to his
When we wish smart guys well, it’s easy to worry the good things won’t come to him… This post is about what to do with worrisome wishes, and why.
Self-confidence (confidence in what you are and are not) requires hard-won wisdom. Not knowledge. Knowledge is great, but only certain parts of us hold parts of our knowledge, e.g. the parts of you that were able to sit up in class and pay attention know alcohol makes humans stupid. Other parts, like the ones that tell you that you’ll only impress a girl by drinking in some “liquid courage,” got
If your IQ sets you apart by making you waaaaay less interested in mundane topics than most folks, that can be tremendously isolating. Or if the intensity with which you engage outshines/outpaces/outdoes that of others, that can be isolating, too… But probably the most isolating side-effect of big brainz is your potential. Living with more excitement about their potential than about who they inherently are… stops many guys from ever
As a boy, you had your work cut out for you. You knew what to aspire to in becoming a man. Then suddenly you’re in a relationship with a woman, and she wants something completely different! Grade Expectations What society expects you to be as a man (the go-getter, the competent, the problem-solver… all this stuff) stands in stark contrast to what is actually needed in adulthood. You’re not late
Ever danced with a partner who wanted to lead, even though that was your job? It doesn’t work. It’s like having a conversation with someone who thinks you need to be nagged, when you’re already hard enough on yourself, by yourself! Most guys shut down or seclude in this situation. And women don’t get it, because we’re not as clairvoyant as we think we are! A woman recently told me