For smart guys who want more meaningful connections.

Skip the small-talk.
Side-step social status.

The world needs you.

Great Minds, Rational Hearts

social calculus

The inter-personal chemistry of a so-called “simple” exchange between two people is actually mind-boggling.

How to discern signal/noise, let alone respond in real time? Especially when your own thoughts and reactions factor in, or distract?

Even with a meditation practice, a degree in systems thinking, and experience troubleshooting complex problems, your neurology is affected by that of people around you.

You’re not about to hire a coach to pep you up and let you down, or tell you to “visualize success.”

You won’t pay a so-called expert to just blame your parents and analyze your dreams (or cards or stars or planets or whatever) looking for trauma.

What’s the point, anyway, if “good advice” hasn’t really worked for you?

(Actually, common-sense advice usually doesn’t even seem to apply to you for some reason. Maybe ‘cause you’re pretty uncommon… which is good. But also kinda sucks, since you’d like to believe something will work out for you…)

I get it.

You're smart.

You save face
by figuring things out on your own.

You like the scientific method:
observe, hypothesize, test, iterate.

You "believe it when you see it."
No nagging/coaxing/manipulation.

You’re agnostic, iconoclastic, or just
not big on authority figures.

You’re technically inclined, understated
…and misunderstood.

You have trouble striking up
mutually engaging conversations.

Remember GOOD conversation?

When you know someone is smart enough to track you – all of you – and can help you find words without putting any in your mouth…
That they’re enthusiastic enough about what you actually meant, to take your jokes and moods in stride…
That they aren’t just fabricating all those signs and signals that tell you you’re totally being loved and understood…
It’s like that unlocks your potential and sets you free to be your authentic self.

And sometimes,
when you’re talking to someone truly curious and truly open,
you even start understanding yourself better!

Want every conversation
to be a GOOD conversation?

Hi, I'm Bree,

a rogue scientist focusing on what is right & good –but misunderstood– in the modern male mind. I articulate, validate, and reflect the best in men back to them.

Men who assume that “talking” means being “shamed/blamed/fixed” need someone safe to turn to, who gets how smarts become wisdom.

I help you hear you!

Immense thanks, Bree.

This book would not have happened without you.

I’m such an introvert that people usually exhaust me. But it’s different with you.

With most people, I’m ready for a nap after about 10 minutes of conversation.
But an hour with you goes by so fast I don’t even notice time passing.

You’re funny, smart and wise, and so easy to talk to that I’m energized and not exhausted,
even when we talk about my least favourite topic: me!”

For a decade, I did not have close personal relations. It was like:

‘I don’t care! This is hopeless! Forget it!’

Well, a ‘Hail Mary’ pass:
this has been the hugest turn-around.”

I love talking with Bree. We’re very different people
– I’m introverted, shy, and sometimes shut down, and she can be very outgoing and outspoken –
and
she consistently meets our differences by communicating transparently about her own experience, inviting me to give her feedback and adapting to it, and actively and compassionately seeking to understand my experience.

Our meetings have provided me a rare opportunity to experimentally speak my full truth, which has been valuable practice that I have seen enrich my other relationships. It’s been a pleasure to learn and grow with her.”

Your approach impressed not only me, but all the employers I sought to work for.

I now work with the firm of my choice, and I know it is the right fit. Pragmatically speaking I’m making a healthy salary. Plus I’m ecstatic to work with a team of people who share many of my visions and work diligently to make them real.

We did this together, Bree.

Thanks for standing by me all the while and encouraging me through every step.”

I’m a big-bandwidth person, and so
I’m often afraid of overwhelming people.

What I appreciate about you, Bree, is that you are “big enough.”
I feel like I can be met by you.
You can meet me.

I can be as big, or as much, of “me” as I NEED to be, and you can meet me.

I don’t have to be nervous about “OMG, I have to say only 10% of who I am” for fear of overwhelming you.

Conflict-avoidant,
small-talk-averse?

You’re absolutely not alone in thinking “what the heck!
What did I miss!?
When was I supposed to learn this stuff?”

You’re actually in great company.